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May 30, 2023

Changing Your Mind: How To Trust Yourself to Make a Big Pivot



3 Things We Dive Into In This Episode:

  1. How you know when it's time to change your mind about something.

  2. Tools to cope with the inevitable discomfort that comes with changing your mind.

  3. How changing your mind helps you cultivate self-trust (which is what ultimately allows you to make peace with your body, with food, and live an aligned life)


šŸ“˜Resources

šŸ“ŒEpisode Highlights


How do you know when it's time to change your mind about something?


Step 1: Tap into your personal values to understand what is most sincerely, truly, and deeply important to you and let those be the most importants thing to you.


Ask yourself if this decision is in alignment with all or most of the values that are important to you.


Your personal values are a compass for how to navigate your life, relationships, careers, everything really!!


Step 2: Talk to friends or counselors/coaches that you trust to give you an unbiased opinion on your situation without telling you what to do.


Straightforward perspectives will help guide you to determining the best path forward in making this decision.


But remember that YOU are the one making the decision. Strike a balance between outsider perspectives and trusting your own judgment.


Step 3: Trying to establish a connection to your body when processing and making the decision.


Noticing if your body is rejecting my current situation or does your body have a desire for you to make a change.


Put yourself in a quiet environment where you can attempt to breathe, regulate, relax, and connect to your gut.


Look back at the recent past and ask yourself if your body is giving you signs that you may be going in the wrong direction right now.



And so how do we navigate that discomfort that we need to accept when we change our minds?


Step 1: Release the need to explain yourself and your decision to a single soul.


You are damaging your self-trust by overexplaining. It gives the connotation that your decision is ā€œbadā€, when in reality it is in alignment with you.


Your decisions wonā€™t necessarily align with everyone, and that is okay.


Step 2: Give yourself space to honor, appreciate, celebrate where you were at the time that you wanted to make a change.


Changing your mind can be a big deal, so take the time to be proud of yourself.


Step 3: Remember that we are meant to live many different lives within our lifetime. We are meant to take 180s. We are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve.


Making changes is inevitable and by anticipating that we can meet changes with a little less resistance.


Step 4: Youā€™ll start to see the series of possibilities that'll open up with this decision you've made.


Changing your mind will lead you to the place you're supposed to be.


Step 5: Changing your mind gives others a permission slip to do the same.


When you feel the inevitable discomfort that comes with this change, the reminder that it is impacting others in a positive way can be a great motivator.



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Transcript

Caitie Corradino: We are meant to live many different lives within our lifetime. We are meant to take 180s. We are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve. The people that feel the happiest and the healthiest and the most fulfilled are the people who make peace with those pivots and the people who take those pivots and the people who take those risks.


Welcome to Whole Full and Alive, a podcast helping you break free from food anxiety, body dysmorphia, self-doubt, and hustling for your worth. I'm Caitie Corradino. I'm a registered dietician/nutritionist, a body image coach, and the founder of Full Soul Nutrition. I use a unique combination of nutrition, counseling, body image support, somatic breath work, and holistic coaching. I've guided hundreds of clients to freedom with food, their bodies, and every aspect of their lives. I've also been on this healing journey myself. On this podcast, I share actionable tools, no bullshit stories and interviews that remind you why you have everything you need within you to feel whole, full and alive. Are you ready to eat with more confidence? Embrace your body, create aligned relationships, and fall in love with your life? Let's get into it.


Hey, welcome back to another episode of Whole Full and Alive. I am so damn grateful that you are choosing to tune in today, whether it's your first episode, your second episode, or your 37th episode. Thank you so much for being here.


As always, before we dive into today's topic, which is self-trust and changing your mind, I want to invite you to take a really, really deep breath. Whether iit feels good, whether you're multitasking or just simply tuning into this podcast, take a nice deep breath in through your nose. Let it fill your body all the way through the base of your spine and hold and then exhale to release and let it go fully.


I was taking a yoga class the other day and the instructor said, relax your skin. And I think on the surface that kind of sounds ridiculous. Relax your skin. And I found so much peace in that prompt. Relax your skin. Take a moment to notice that you have skin. Notice your body. Tune into your body, be in your body and breathe some relief into it. Notice where you're holding tension. Is it at the top of your head? Is it in your shoulders? Is it in your lower belly? And can you just breathe a little bit of relief into that space? Can you notice that you have a body, that you have skin and relax into it?


So I'm coming to you today from Peros, which is a pretty remote island that's part of Greece, but really far east, kind of close to like Turkey area. I'm actually surprised how far east I am right now.


I wasn't gonna be here a few weeks ago. This was a very last minute plan and I definitely wanna talk about that a little bit today on the episode cause it is irrelevant to self-trust and changing your mind. But before I dive into that story, let me tell you a little bit about why I think talking about self-trust and changing your mind is so important when it comes to cultivating a healthy relationship with food and your body and living a good life overall.


If there is anything that I think is the most essential ingredient for a good relationship with food and for financial freedom and for an amazing love life and a fulfilling career and just a good life overall, it really is self-trust.


The ability to know that you don't need to know what happens next in order to feel safe because you've got your own back. I believe that self-trust really gives you the ability to feel a sense of joy and relief and peace and safety without needing to know what happens next, without needing to know how your body will change, without needing to know if that person that you're seeing right now is gonna be your person forever, without needing to know what job you're gonna be at this time next year. I think that safety, fulfillment and a love of life really comes from the ability to trust yourself because the ability to trust yourself gives you the ability to surrender.


And I've been thinking about this so much lately with my client cases and with my own life. And so today I'm feeling super inspired to offer you some concrete tools for cultivating a sense of self-trust. Because self-trust really is like a muscle. It's a muscle that's built through exercising it, through taking action, through taking steps towards the thing that you know you want and giving yourself an opportunity to learn again and again that you can trust yourself.


So today I wanna talk about cultivating a sense of self-trust by changing your mind. And I wanna break this down into two parts. I wanna break it down into number one, how do you know when it's time to change your mind about something? And number two, what are some tools to cope with the inevitable discomfort that comes with changing your mind about something, doing a 180 in your life?


There is so much discomfort that comes when you decide to change your mind about something or to change directions, to change jobs, to break up with somebody, to change your mind about going to a social event that you previously said you were gonna go to.


Other people don't like when we change our minds. And that could be coming from a place of judgment from people assuming that you should be one way and you're going in a different direction. And it can also just be coming from the fact that we're all looking for a sense of safety. We're all looking for a sense of predictability. In a very unpredictable world, when someone around us changes their mind, it can feel a little dysregulating, can feel unsafe. And so it does make people uncomfortable when we change our mind about something, it can make it even harder to do. But if we don't give ourselves permission to change our mind at multiple points in our life, we aren't able to cultivate the sense of self-trust that I'm saying is so essential for body peace, for food peace, for a good love life, for a good financial situation, for fulfillment overall.


So let's dive in. Let's talk about changing your mind as a way to cultivate a sense of self-trust. How do we know when it's time to change our mind? What do we do to cope with the inevitable discomfort that comes when we do change our mind about something?


So like I said, I'm coming to you from a Greek island when on this day in particular, I should have been coming to you from London. That was my original plan, but I changed my mind about something that led me here. And I wanna share my story today because I feel like I can use it to kind of illustrate some of these tools that I'm gonna share with you. So let's get into it.


I shared on my last solo episode that I entered a new relationship this year, of this calendar year. And I found that relationship to be getting pretty serious pretty quickly, and I was starting to feel pretty vulnerable in it and I started making some life decisions that kind of involved this person and that relationship is now over.


That relationship is the thing that I changed my mind about, I was long story short, leading a retreat with my friend Diana Davis in Lefkada, Greece a few weeks ago. And the plan for my life was that I was supposed to lead this retreat and then after the retreat go back to Athens where my boyfriend was and he and I were gonna spend a few days in Athens together and then fly back to London together and spend the rest of the month of May in London while I figure out if I want to move to London to be with him in London. He's British.


What ended up happening was that I had a beautiful, magical, amazing, really, really appealing experience beyond what I could have ever possibly imagined experience being a leader on this retreat. Really connected with new people in a deep way and connected with myself in a deep way. And I think when you have experiences like that, whether you go on a retreat or you take an amazing class or you have a really fun weekend with your friends somewhere and you just connect with yourself, you just remember who you are when you don't have to prove anything to anybody.


I think it starts to become really clear what things in your life are no longer working, what things in your life are kind of like an energetic mismatch when you have a really amazing experience where you're able to be yourself so fully, so deeply, so completely, and then you kind of reenter your routine, it just becomes so abundantly clear what's no longer working. And I think you feel that full body like I've gotta eject myself from this situation. And unfortunately I did get that feeling when I reconnected with my now ex-partner when I met with him in Athens. And of course there's more to the story and there's a lot of conversation that was involved, a lot of back and forth that was involved with this. It wasn't just like, oh, nope, energetic mismatch, goodbye. There was a little bit more to it. It was a whole saga of a breakup in Athens. Very dramatic backdrop. When we did break up in Athens, I decided to reroute my travels to join two of my friends who were planning to explore the Greek islands for the next couple of weeks. And they already had their Airbnbs and it wasn't gonna be that expensive for me to join them. And I am extremely privileged in the sense that I get to do my counseling and coaching from anywhere in the world and I just completely rerouted my trip and joined my girlfriends instead. And it felt incredibly aligned even though it was hard. It's not easy to break up with anyone that you're in love with. And I was completely in love with this person. The relationship itself just wasn't gonna work as it was for right now at least. And also it ended up being a really good thing that I changed my mind in this way.


However, in addition to it being just like a breakup and coming with the inevitable grief that all breakups come with this decision also came with me having to tell quite a few people that I changed my mind after I had pretty recently told them that I was going to spend time with this guy in London after having pretty recently told them that this guy exists, period. Like I had just finished kind of telling people that I've been seeing this guy for a few months now, and now I had to like go back some for some of them like 48 hours later and be like, yeah, actually we broke up now. And that was sticky. It was really sticky. And so much of me was attached to kind of just wanting to not have to do that piece of the work, almost not having to do that piece of like, oh, I mean, I did make this decision to kind of stick it out with this person who I spent a lot of time with. By the way, dude was in Denver with me for a month. I was in London with him a month before that. It was like there was a lot of time spent together.


And after that investment of my time and energy, I had to decide to change my mind. I had, like I said, that full body nudge when I first saw him that like, this is a mismatch, this isn't gonna work. And I had to take that information from my body along with other things and reroute, do a 180, not go to London, not stay with him, let go of the story I was telling myself about what this relationship was supposed to be and the story I was telling myself about how much I, you know, would be so embarrassed to tell people that we had broken up after I just told them that we were together. I had to let go of that stuff and do the 180 because I decided that it was ultimately the thing that was one, gonna help me strengthen myself, trust muscle. And two, just give me a healthier, happier experience here in Europe. And I have been having a very healthy and very happy experience.


Of course, I'm navigating some inevitable breakup grief, and I'm also stepping into a completely different type of love story, which is a love story with my friends who I'm cultivating deeper relationships with, spending a lot of time with exploring new places with, we're all working on our businesses together because they're also digital nomads, they're also entrepreneurs who run their business from all over the world. And it's been a really meaningful time and it's so clear that changing my mind in that direction was the thing that was gonna be the most fulfilling for me in that moment.


But of course it was hard to make this mind change. And I wanna share with you, like I said, some steps for how you know when it's time for you to maybe change your mind about something and when that's something you desire to do and some tools for cultivating discomfort. And these are the things that I've been reflecting on as I've been navigating this mind change in my personal life. So here it goes.


How do you know when you desire to change your mind? How do you know when that 180 is the thing that is good for you right now?


I think even though the first thing I mentioned when I told the story about deciding to break up with my partner was the body nudges that I had. I don't think that those body nudges are the most important thing because sometimes feelings that we get in our body can be anxiety and disguise, and sometimes when we've got a lot going on and our brain's very anxious, it can be really difficult to actually connect to the body. So I wouldn't say that that's the first thing that helps you decide when it's a good time to change your mind about something.

I actually think the first thing that is most important when it comes to determining whether it's a good thing to change your mind about something is tapping into your personal values. Understanding what is most sincerely, truly, deeply important to you and letting that be the most important thing to you.


I talk with my clients about personal values a lot because of course this is something that comes up with navigating food and body image and self-worth all the time. And Brene Brown, one of my absolute favorite psychologist speakers/authors in the entire world, has an amazing personal values assessment that I always send to my clients. I recommend doing that. If you've never done that before. Asking yourself questions like imagine you're at a celebration of your life in like 5, 10, 20 years from now, what would you want people to be saying about you? What contributions would you like to have made to their life? What impact would you like to have had on them? Asking yourself questions like, who do you admire most and what do you admire most about them? And what do you wish to emulate about that person? Asking yourself questions like, when do you feel like you're most alive? When do you feel like you're most yourself? When do you feel like you're in flow?


Asking yourself these questions helps you cultivate a list of really succinct and specific personal values that you can kind of use as a compass throughout your life. Shamelessly. My personal values are connection with other people. I really value deep, intimate connections with people and I like to have really intentional partnerships and relationships. I really value fun. I think that life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured, and I think that we really should squeeze the juice and enjoy life and experience joy as much as we can. I value adventure. I value rolling the dice. I value taking risks. I value going into new situations that are unfamiliar to me. I like stepping out of my comfort zone. That's just it for me. I really value healing. I really, really value kind of digging into the challenges I've navigated throughout my life and seeing what meaning I can make out of them and what I can learn from them and how I can heal wounds that have been living inside me from my past. And also wounds that come from my family lineage that is super important to me. And I also value authenticity. I really, really like being in spaces where I can just be myself. I don't think that I could work a job where I had to put on kind of a corporate face or a professional face because that's just not who I am. That's not what I value. I really, really value being in a room with people who are just fully and completely expressing themselves. Like something about me is sort of like, I don't know, I like belong with like the theater kids or something, even though I'm not that at all. Like I feel like that is such a high value for me personally.


And so when I'm making decisions, I really try to look at that list of personal values and say, okay, is this decision in alignment with all or most of the things that are important to me? And when it came to making a decision about my relationship, there was something that my ex-partner wasn't aligning with that was really important to my sense of personal values and what was gonna be important to me. And I really do think that you're allowed to call the shots when it comes to your personal values. It's important that you decide to make what's most important to you important. And when you're choosing a partner especially, you get to say, you know what? I actually want this person that I'm gonna be with to value these things. And you can't force someone else to value the same things as you. You cannot force someone to want the same things as you. You cannot force someone to want the same type of relationship that you want. So it's important that you trust and go out there and find the person that aligns with your personal values most.


So that's number one. I think like it can be really hard to connect to your body sometimes. And that list of personal values, if you write them down and write why they're important to you and write how you wanna live them and how you wanna align with them, that gets to be a compass for you.


I think the second most important thing is connecting with people that you really, really trust. The ones who will tell you what they see and not tell you what to do. Remember that cultivating a sense of self-trust is about you trusting yourself. It's about you making the decision. So it isn't about outsourcing your decision to other people, however, it is important to talk to a friend that you trust to tell you what they see without telling you what to do. Or a counselor or a coach like me that could tell you what they see without telling you what to do.


This is an important part of the process because it helps you get kind of outside of yourself for a moment outside of the back and forth in your head, outside of the tangled up ball of yarn that you might be creating in your brain. And just get a few straightforward perspectives from another person.


Something that a good trusted person might say is like, I noticed when you come home from work, you feel completely drained, completely exhausted, completely just like out of your body, right? If you're talking about a job. Someone who is gonna tell you what they see without telling you what to do, might say what they observe when they see you hanging out with the person that you're in a relationship with. And that is what my friend did for me. When I had breakfast with my friend in Athens the morning of my breakup my friend said very straightforwardly, very candidly to me that she felt like my boyfriend wasn't aligning with one value that I held really high.


One of the personal values that I have, he so clearly was not matching. And not only was he not matching it, he was disrespecting it. And so having a friend kind of just point that out to me and be honest with me about that without telling me what to do, she really didn't tell me what to do. She really said, I'm so open to this working out, I'm so open to you continuing to just say and figure it out. She's like, I trust you so much, I trust you to make a decision. And I think that is so important to hear. It's so important to talk to the people who are always gonna point you back to yourself. The best friends, the best teachers, the best mentors, the best counselors are gonna point you back to yourself. They can tell you what they see and then they're gonna point you back to yourself.


And you know that kind of edge where people cross over from telling you what they see into like low key kind of persuading you into what to do. And when you feel people crossing that line, it's so important to express that boundary in the conversation. Like, Hey, I feel like you're kind of trying to convince me to do one thing or the other right now. Can you objectively tell me what you think about both sides? And someone who's not willing to do that or feels like they don't have the lack of bias to be able to do that isn't the person to talk to. It is important to be careful. And also it's a really important part of understanding when it might be time to change your mind about something.


And then the third most important thing is that connection to your body. Trying to establish that connection to your body. Noticing is my body rejecting my current situation? Does my body have a desire for me to make a change? It can be really hard to connect to these gut feelings sometimes, and that's just okay. We live in a really overwhelming world. We've got a lot of stimuli coming at us. A lot of us live really demanding jobs and sometimes we just don't have access to like that gut feeling that a lot of people speak of. And are you able to put yourself in a quiet environment where you can attempt to breathe and regulate and relax and connect to your gut? And if not, can you just kind of look back at the recent past and be like, is my body giving me signs that I may be going in the wrong direction right now? Some signs your body might give you that you're going in the wrong direction. It's just like fatigue and digestive issues and illness and other things like that.


And I wanna be careful when I say this because I do think that there are a lot of wellness influencers out there that'll be like, oh, bloating is a sign that you're doing something wrong. Or like gas is a sign that you're doing something wrong. It's all spiritual, it's all, and that's not it. It's not what I'm saying. However, there is a very real form of stress that your body undergoes when you're in a relationship or a situation or a job that you're not supposed to be in. And those stress levels can cause hormonal imbalances that can certainly cause your body to experience physical ailments.


And we can't look at it in a super black and white way, right? Everything is so nuanced. And also when you're in the wrong situation, when you're going in the wrong direction, there is a form of physiological stress that is incurred on your body. And you might notice some physical signs and symptoms that you can look back at and be like, yeah, maybe my body is trying to eject me from this situation, from this job, from this relationship. Maybe it is time for me to do a 180 here.


So personal values, trusted people and tuning into your body either getting quiet and trying to tune into that gut instinct if that's not feeling possible, going back and connecting the dots and seeing am I experiencing some physical stress, some physical symptoms actually that might be caused by the stress of being in a situation that's clearly no longer meant for me?


I was experiencing some physical stress towards the end of my relationship, I was definitely experiencing a lot of general discomfort in my body, a little bit of fatigue. And as soon as I made the decision to leave, I felt a lot of relief in my physical body. And yeah, I just wanna be honest about that because that is a real thing. It's a thing again that is kind of used in a spiritual bypassing way sometimes. And I don't want people to become too anxious about it by thinking about it in a black and white way. And part of it's just very real. Part of it is just like, yeah, when your body's stressed out, you are gonna have physical symptoms.

So with personal values and trusted people and connecting to your body and connecting to yourself, you can get to a place where you know when it's a time to change your mind. And once you change your mind, how do you cope with the discomfort of that reality?


Like I was saying, people around you tend to not like when you change your mind. They might judge you and or they might just feel unsafe by the fact that you've changed your mind. And then you might also feel very uncomfortable from the fact that you've changed your mind. You might have to process grief like I'm processing right now. You might have to just tolerate a situation that's outside of your comfort zone and it might just feel really sticky and difficult.


And the first thing I feel that's so important to remember is that discomfort does not mean that you're moving in the wrong direction. It means that you're moving in a new direction. Discomfort is not a sign that you're doing something wrong, it's a sign that you're doing something new. And so how do we navigate that discomfort that we need to accept when we change our minds?


I think the first and most important thing is to release the need to explain yourself to a single soul. There is a difference between processing a change you've made with people and processing your emotions around it and processing a life experience that you've had with a trusted friend or a counselor and explaining yourself to them.


And you know that feeling when you've gone from processing a situation to trying to explain yourself to someone, trying to prove yourself to someone. And when you get in the habit of explaining yourself to people about the decision that you've made, you're really damaging the sense of self-trust that we're trying to cultivate here. You're really damaging that self-trust muscle by overexplaining yourself. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.


And in fact, you should not explain yourself to anyone. And the self-trust that you cultivate by not explaining yourself to people, I think applies directly to healing your relationship with your body. Because I always tell my clients how important it is to explain your body to no one. How no one has to explain their body to anyone. No one has to explain a change in their body shape or size to anyone around them. We all live in evolving and changing bodies, and we can let our bodies be without an explanation. We do not owe that to anybody at all. And the more we explain our bodies to people, the more we have this tendency to be like, oh, I gained weight because of this, or I lost weight because of this. Or maybe my body looks this way because of this. The more we're eroding body trust, the more we're eroding a peaceful relationship with our bodies and the more we're eroding our sense of body acceptance and embodiment and comfort. And we're reinforcing the idea that our body is something to be looked at rather than something to live in and experience life in.


So similarly, when you change your mind about something, when you take that 180, don't explain yourself to anyone. Maintain self self-trust by processing only. And then you don't open yourself up to other people's judgments as well. Other people's judgments cannot drive your car. Your personal values drive your car, your trusted people help you remember how to drive your car, and you let that intuition from your body drive your car. That peaceful interplay between those three things, that's what's driving the car, not other people's judgments. So we don't explain ourselves to other people.


And of course, this is something that I'm navigating right now, right? Like I did just tell a solid number of people in my life that I had this boyfriend in London and now I'm like, oh, I actually don't have a boyfriend in London anymore. And I'm not gonna explain that to anybody. I don't need to tell people the whole story of our breakup, and I don't need to tell people why I chose to reroute my trip to Greece. It doesn't matter, I don't need to explain myself to them. I can process the situation with my friends without explaining or justifying.


Number two for coping with the discomfort of changing your mind is give yourself space to honor and maybe even appreciate or celebrate where you were at the time that you wanted it the other way. So for me, I'm trying to honor, accept, even celebrate the fact that I let myself lean all the way into this beautiful relationship and that I did invest time and energy into it and I learned a lot from it. And that was what I wanted at the time. And that was actually what got me over to Europe in the first place. I don't know that I would've ever actually even led the retreat with Diana if I wasn't already gonna be over here to be with my partner. So I'm trying to honor and appreciate and celebrate that yeah, I used to want that relationship and that was good. It was really good for me at the time. And in order to keep going in that relationship, I would've had to keep being an older version of myself that I didn't wanna be anymore. And so I honor who I was at the time and who I wanted, but I don't wanna be that version of myself anymore. And that relationship's incompatible with this newer version of me, this more empowered and happier and inspired version of me.


And this also translates to body healing because you get to honor the body that you used to have as your body changes and ages and evolves. And you can acknowledge that, okay, in order to go back to a different version of my body, the body that I had before, I would need to be living that old life that I was living before. And I don't wanna live that old life anymore, or I can't live that old life anymore. Or it's impossible for me to live that old life that I lived when I was in a different body.


Honor where you were at the time and accept and appreciate that where you are now is where you are now in order to be able to have the body that we wish we had, right? With a lot of people say like, oh, I wish I still weighed as much as I did in college or in high school, or whatever. It's literally impossible for most of us to go back to the bodies we had when we were at that age. Or if we really wanted to go back to the bodies we had at a younger age, we would need to live the way we used to live, which was not sustainable or maybe just not realistic for the life that we have right now. Honor where you used to be, celebrate where you used to be at the time, even if we're talking about a job, right? Like maybe this job was really good for you for a while and it met you where you were at and it took you to where you were supposed to be and you leaned all the way into it and now it's over. And that's okay.


Number three for coping with discomfort is remembering that we are meant to live many different lives within our lifetime. We are meant to take 180 s. We are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve. The people that feel the happiest and the healthiest and the most fulfilled are the people who make peace with those pivots and the people who take those pivots and the people who take those risks.


I recently realized that like everyone that I love and respect and admire and like just really like to be around, are the people who have taken a major pivot at some point in their life, done some form of a 180, not the people who are unhappy where they're at, but are staying where they're at because it feels safe and cozy, no shade and no disrespect to people who wanna feel safe and cozy. And also, is that the thing that's gonna help you feel the most fulfilled? Is that the thing that's gonna help you live the life that you're meant to live here on this earth?


And of course, this translates to body acceptance as well because your body is also meant to change. Our body is also meant to age. That is nature. That is how our bodies work. Our bodies evolve and change throughout this lifetime. Our lives evolve and change throughout this lifetime. We evolve and change throughout this lifetime. And I do think that mental health is making peace with changes in your life and changes in your body. And imagine all the possibilities that open up for you with every change that you're brave enough to make. And imagine all the brain space that opens up for you when you're brave enough to make peace with your changing body.


Tool number four, for making peace with the discomfort of changing your mind is that the series of possibilities that's going to open up with this decision you've made are gonna lead you to the place you're supposed to be. I don't believe in saying everything happens for a reason to people. I think that's dismissive. I think that is spiritual bypassing. And also I believe in making meaning from our lives. I believe in looking back and connecting the dots. I believe in looking back and noticing how if I didn't make that one change or that one pivot, I would've never met this person who led me to this person or this circumstance or this job or this thing. I think there is a divine order in that in some sense, I do believe in a serendipitous plot, and I think that it's something that brings me greater mental health. is trusting that there is some serendipity in life and trusting that no act of courage is gonna go unrewarded. And if you trust yourself to make a pivot and make a 180 and make a change when and where you can, it's gonna lead you to one thing which will lead you to the next thing which will lead you to the next thing. That is there is some sort of natural order to this that we can trust in.


And similarly, your body's part of the natural order. Your body gets to be part of this natural order of life, doing what it's supposed to do, changing, evolving, allowing your body to do what it needs to do to restore you to health.


And then tool number five for tolerating the inevitable discomfort that comes with changing your mind is think of the permission slip that you are giving to other people to change their minds. When you change yours, think about how many people are gonna look to you and think, wow, I need to be brave to change my mind about the thing that I've been wanting to change my mind about.


On the episode right before this one actually, I interviewed Noni Vaughn-Pollard, who is a therapist, and she was actually in my nutrition program at NYU. And something we talk about at the top of the episode is that Noni decided to ditch nutrition and become a therapist. And I remember being in that program with her thinking, holy shit, like Noni, we've gone through this whole program, we've done all of these classes about nutrition and biochem and like nutrition science and organic chemistry and all these things, and now you're just gonna pivot and become a therapist. Like, whoa. Like, and I remember thinking like, yeah, I would like to maybe give myself permission to change my mind and, but I've gone through all of this, like why would I change my mind now? I'm obviously gonna be a nutritionist. It's not that I didn't wanna be a nutritionist, but like I would've liked to have been able to consider other possibilities, but I would not let myself do that. And seeing Noni do that was a big permission granting moment for me that really got me thinking and it stuck with me. And it was actually the thing that inspired me to remember her and reach out to her to be on my podcast 10 years later.


And I share that story because I think it is important to think about the people who you've seen change their mind about things and how inspiring that can be. And that's one thing that's keeping me going through this breakup is knowing that anyone who knew about the relationship and the intensity of it, who hears that I've now chosen to end it, is gonna be like, oh wow. You can change your mind even when you were really excited about something, even when you were really committed to something, even when it seemed like something was gonna be going in one direction.


I really do hope that someone who hears that I've chosen to leave my relationship based on my personal values and inevitable incompatibilities and boundaries that I needed to set feels a bit of a permission slip to do the same for themselves. And of course, this relates to body acceptance too, because think about the permission slip you give to other people in the room when you accept your body, when you allow yourself to be in your body and live in your body without trying to control and manipulate and change it and talk badly about it when you let yourself be embodied and not apologizing for it, think of that permission slip that is tool number five.


So I hope there were some tangible takeaways for you today. I've just been feeling so, so, so jazzed around this idea of self-trust and thinking about how we can build ourself trust muscles so that we can cultivate a sense of self-trust that allows us to have this absolutely amazing, fulfilling, orgasmic relationship with food and with our bodies and with relationships and money and life. I truly think that self-trust is the key ingredient for all of that. And so I know that this concept of changing your mind is a really important part of cultivating a sense of self-trust.


And before I pop off, I wanna share with you that I actually am going to build my next round of group coaching around the theme of self-trust. My next group coaching program that is gonna be launching in a few weeks is gonna be all about cultivating a sense of self-trust so that you can eat with confidence and embrace your body and live your fullest and most aligned life. I have come up with a self-trust framework, a lot of actionable experiments and tools that you can use to cultivate this just un unwavering and authentic sense of self-trust. And I am so excited for a group to support each other through this process of learning to trust yourself completely, unapologetically and fully.


So if this episode resonated with you, definitely, definitely get on the waitlist for that group or just message me and let me know what you thought about the episode or leave me a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. I love and appreciate those reviews and I just love hearing your thoughts on the show. And I am so grateful that you're here tuning in today. Thank you so much, and I feel like I'm giving an Oscar speech right now as I'm closing out here.


I hope that the rest of your day is exactly what you need it to be. I hope that something here might have inspired you to do a little journal prompt or something like that, and I'll be back here with an amazing guest next week.




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